I Surrender All

I have been so self-seeking for such a long time. I am good at it, rehearsing it every day until I mastered its art. I covered up with a mask, a concealment that lasts long, a veneer which altered versions of myself.

Until I tire out. I ran out of fuel. I kept moving but I was actually stagnant. I kept pushing yet I was not stable. I was so confident that I would never fall short. So I trusted myself and declared independence – thought I can do everything by my own will.

I believed I needed nobody. Because all my life I was unnoticed, forsaken, and misconstrued. Why should I trust anybody? I sow tripwires inside, like a time bomb I may explode anytime.

Until finally, I felt weakness invaded my being. I turned out to be incapacitated and have not foreseen it. It was a knock-down blow. My emotions blended and created a humungous monster in me.

What shall I do? Who shall I call? Where to cling in this very point of brokenness?

I was so desperate. I was in need, I was broken hearted – and this is where healing began.

I realized I can’t keep things up, that I wasn’t good enough. All the walls I’ve built up are just glass on the outside – fragile. So I’d let them tumble down to the ground in the sound of freedom. The revelation of my weakness is God’s call to me to learn of Him, that He is existing and He cares; to find that His grace is sufficient and His power was made perfect in my weakness though I can’t get rid off this thorn on my flesh; to lay hold of His power to re-create, to redeem, to forgive, and to mend. Yes, HEARTS DO BREAK. It is breakable over and over again. It’s the will of God, remember in His Word:

“The LORD is close to the broken-hearted

and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Psalm 34:18

I SURRENDERED ALL and STILL SURRENDERING MY ALL each day.

I did this a thousand times but still there were remnants. I was giving it to God yet I haven’t noticed I was still holding on and not letting go. But what surrender means is to yield something to the possession or power of another on demand; to give the control or use of something to someone else. To surrender is to agree to stop fighting, hiding, resisting, because you know that you will not win or succeed. And this time I want my all surrendered before God. For if I was strong enough to let it in, then I’m strong enough to let it go. How could I make things get better?

Nine words.

“Here is my heart, YOU can have it ALL.”

Like the rest, I was merely a claypot – common stuff, flawed, fragile, yet in God’s surpassing power and skillful hands, useful. The moment I surrendered everything, I tasted real freedom.

How about you? Is there something should you surrender to Jesus?

Start surrendering your all to Him and experience genuine liberty!

Surrendering All,